[tales][grasp][media][qna][inonit] £rnotb

This is the wikiself of [private]

the content of this site is fraudulent. who hacked this? the cookie cutters

-my grasp-

the epitome of my perception. of my existence. a profound spiritual experience revealed certain truths. the illusion was shattered. awareness and i became 1 which you then see 0. to begin, there is awareness, that which is consciousness of itself, radiating. now there is somethig big, that is truth. knowing, i find is an interesting, succinct form. there is ony one knowing, and that is not knowing? you allow yourself some play with being perfect loving expression. that which distracts from now is ego.

> there is only now

> the ego is false

> its all an illusion

> vibrations

> there is no you or i?

-my Story-

the earliest memory i have is of me asking my mother, what happens when you die? i wonder, what is the point? As a youth, i cast a meager image. I did well at school but with little interest. i am socially inept. i stand aside. the 90s came forth to perfection in an insatiable appetite for 56kbps, headshots and mp3s. the computer is my friend but sometimes i dunno. The opposite sex are like beautiful birds in a tree, admiring them but knowing i cant fly. not without desire, it feels like diving out of a plane with a map. did the university gig as was correctly expected. this became droll as i struggled to form meaning in fluffy animals. I have as many friends as mountains ive climbed. i am the witness of an eternally sinking life. my mind is thoroughly frgamented. i am everything, solipsism.

-day life-

alone. i have never felt life was easy yet it has been very easy. i am illogically adverse socially. i live under a pyramid scheme. i entertain myself occassionally with music, wandering around people, writing jibberish, riding the bus and feeling myself superior. i desire a woman. if you can be no weight; no place; no reference. if orbitting one another, you have meaning. i eat fruits and vegetables and some meat. ive developed a loathing of media so i dont tv or browse. i have the delinquent accounts tho aye. i am terribly lazy. this gets in the way of things. i am a burden to society, but but but I i dont care. i think a lot about things and have come to knowing nothing with no opinion. i listen intently for anomalies. im from an australian city. people dont seem to yell at you much. i dont get out much. i am an operator of a computer terminal which makes me some kindof hypernaut. i was a disfunctional lover of wow and once clocked pong. i dont have much meaning in life but im forming some sort of basis.

-god-

• is cruel
• is selfish
• is fraudulent
• is evil
• is a lie

if it were not for propoganda, would we see it for what it is?

-thinking-

everything is wrong. why are you doing that. you should have done. what will you do. they dont like you.

what am i holding on to. go with the flow. i tend to be negative because of low mood. i do however have a utility belt of loving truths which never work. i am interested in understanding my relationship with myself. i think about what happens once i die. i think nothing of world affairs. i like to daydream. i also think about the theives, the spies and the tales.

-politics-

the theatre of society

-depression-

depression is a big part of my life. it has been destroying, like a bad dream. it is challenging my very essence. how can someone like ever communicate to someone how it feels. it doesnt matter. sometimes i wonder who the sane ones are. and why i like to feel this way. because that is what they tell you. but the great march goes on. its ok, give it a pill. because i think different, i am shunned. if someone said they would die if you did not stop to hear their story, would you stop?

-todo-

· find purpose or meaning
· more holes in socks
· invent new language
· frame some kid for name calling
· slap hyperweb in the face

-vision-

i am heavily impressioned by technology and scifi. i foresee a topia where all the ills of man have been relegated. we have developed a collective consciousness heralding harmonisation. there is no centralised control and we evolve naturally. we engineer the biosphere. We discover all life has been under the influence of a remote intelligent design.

or atleast that is what they will tell you

virtual reality. the matrix. seductive. choice. what is freedom? the future is marked.

i see the struggle, and the struggle is good. the greatest beauty in man is struggle. and so forth came bosom. it is as it is. I believe what comes will come. i am missing something.

-truth-

there lies one truth. the one thing you can know for certain. a great calm of jubilance.

the world is all smoke and mirrors. manufactured consent. viciously altruistic. this has nothing to do with truth.

-free will-

free will is something i think about reoccuringly. there are girls outside my window. when you are at deaths door, you have a choice. stretch out, touch your toes. determinism. if you had it over, would it change? what happens when i die. your spirit will live on within all of us. what sort of energy is this. this world no longer exists. nuthing. gone.

freewill supposes there is multiple pasts and multiple futures. determinism supposes there is one past and one future.

i was a determinist but now i dunno.. its all very invisible.

-dialect-

-the words-

when the words went sour
it sparked a rain
down here in thunder
it went down the drain
cast back cast forth
what wsa really at the source
its what youve forgotten, you see
it can only be you

-purpose-

there is only one purpose. have you found it? did they tell you?

my purpose is to stay informed.. my purpose is to be productive.. my purpose is to follow rules.. my purpose is to dream..

my purpose is to knowing. if freewill is so, there is no purpose.

i have no purpose. a cold truth turned new friend. if you have a purpose it would limit your possibilty. life is about exploring that possibility. to not have a purpose grants boundless freedom. you are now an expression, not a fate.

purpose is also similar to the word porpoise.

-ego-

my desire to construct this webpage as an instance of my ego. this entire fucking site is my ego. the ego or self. my nemesis. the self is you that is not everything else. the ego keeps you civilly aligned, it is a social contraption? it sees things as good or bad, right or wrong which are fictions. it must be constantly at the center of attention, it is expert at self-preservation. the realisation becomes, there was no self. all the seeking had been undone.

love hate

-game-

damage taken
healing received
i suck at games
im okay at thumb wars
wow once a time

-media-

i suppose that makes me a little paranoid. to what extent do cultural exposures affect personality. we are bombarded at an unprecedented rate, a period of amazement. alas, we are all expressions of culture. we are lucky enough to be experiencing the birth of internet and the wonders therein. full of culture, full of peril, full of life. there has been an explosion in media, enriching encroaching our lives. this is the future proclaimed. the rhythm of our their choice. where does that lead us?

play time
ii am the captain of this ship

-evolution-

ah i dunno.. evolution.. yeah, where do you start? i heard some bloke saw a tasmanian tiger over the gooby other day.. those bastards have been extinct thousands years, mate! i recon this evolution things all outta whack. its the choice mate, its the choice. and what is choice.? the intelligence, maate.

-links-

supercatlive.neocities.org

-goals-

■ clone

■ ride the internet

log

--- --- ---
287 not by me found site modified
see strike
what they want to hear
--- --- ---
22 i am contracting
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7 i have stagnated
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3 its been a long time since ive done anything but think about nothing
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2 i am alone, but it is ok
there is no such thing as perfect
each i is perfect in itself
how do you compare expressions
--- --- ---
1 scrolling through, i feel so much dejavu
--- --- ---

-qna-

q:what is right and what is wrong
a:there is none

q:is this some sort of new age scam?
a:yes

q:what is the meaning of life
a:harmony

q:why do you suck?
a:im a product of my experience

q:do you know where i can get some x?
a:no i do not

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